I'm completely addled. Like my consciousness has gone somewhere far far away. Tra la la.
But then it comes back to me, with force, especially reading the pre-admission papers that say "possible staging." Which would be finding out what "stage" cancer? Right? I don't know. But it all freaks my shit, to no end. And that's where I end up sometimes. And then I'm back to TRALALA which is way, way better.
Ms Jane and I went all over the hospital. I had an EKG, a chest x-ray, and had my blood sucked out of my hands again (they can't find a vein in my arm.. ouch) and then, because I can't eat starting at noon tomorrow except jello, broth and gatorade (Ms Jane suggested mixing the broth in with the jello. yeah!) we went to the store to gather provisions.
I'm dizzy with fright. But my mantra is to stay in the moment. In. The. Moment.
Anything you don't understand get Ms Jane to write down. It will be alright Jo, stay in the tralala moment.
Posted by: blaize | December 18, 2006 at 05:17 PM
Jo--
I know you're scared, but you are doing really well. We are all pulling for you.
Rose
Posted by: maryrose | December 18, 2006 at 06:11 PM
Wait, you said "tomorrow" but i thought the surgery was wednesday. Not a problem I can do tues-friday pickup. But is it tues. or wed??
Posted by: badgerbag | December 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
(My computer is broken. I'm commenting from the corner store.) Remember to breathe! Out and then in! Tralalala.
Posted by: savtadotty | December 19, 2006 at 06:40 AM
I can't eat 24 hours before the surgery, they say. Argh!
Posted by: Jo | December 19, 2006 at 07:00 AM