Let's hear it for powerful pharmaceuticals! I can't believe I'm going through my mother's incipient passing without being absolutely paralyzed. It takes a lot of drugs. You've seen my personal formulary. But somehow the combination of all those chemicals makes me float above most of the dreck. Float, and yet still feel. It's not like it stops the pain -- far from it. But I'm not completely consumed.
Not in the hospital, in other words.
I've been editing the scads and scads of material I have from the last few months. At first I had all the Issues with Manny in the mix, which made the page count around 450 (word count about 150k) and I thought about it -- his privacy is so important to him, even with me and the girls, so why am I considering publishing our most difficult of times? Lame! So I took it out, and the page count is down to 350 or so.
With further editing, up to p. 100 now, I've managed to cull another 75 pages out. It's actually interesting work. The memory of what happened to me before my hospitalization was starting to fade, and wham, there it is.
I've also taken many of the sections wherein I talk about "I was on the phone with my mother, and she said the followng words of wisdom...blah blah blah" because obviously it is important to me.
Raining like crazy out there. Didn't know I lived in Seattle, did you? I thought it was Deadwood, too. Who knew they could move an entire area! Just lift it in its entirety!
Wonderful that the drugs are helping. Sounds like you can feel and process without sinking.
Posted by: Calpal | April 16, 2006 at 09:01 AM