Thinking hard today about what I talked about yesterday with my therapist, the question of the end of my relationship, my divorce, and trying to figure out what happened. I realized something that is new, tugging at the corners of my thinking; it doesn't matter. It simply doesn't matter. It happened, and I am still recovering from it, but I don't need to hang onto all this anger and frustration and envy and bad stuff. This is big.
She did point out that the two biggest predictors of the end of a marriage are 1. having an autistic child and 2. one of the couple is an unmanaged bipolar. So in a way it isn't anyone's fault except my funky wiring. But even besides that stuff, I don't need to delve into it and figure it out any more. I can just forgive. Let it go. Move on. I'm really amazed at the simplicity of it and how I wasn't able to even think about it previous to this point in my life. How many years does it take? Many, apparently. I think I moved out in 2008. As I recall. Or was it 2007?
FYI: to my best knowledge, the Autistic child thing and divorce turns out to be an Urban Legend. I personally know tons of families with Autistic kids and very few of them have divorced.
Posted by: Sarah | February 26, 2012 at 08:06 AM
Yeah, I know a lot of autistic child families too and none of them are divorced. I don't know!
Posted by: Jo | February 26, 2012 at 08:25 AM
this seems like a very good thing for you. I'm glad you have some peace in your heart.
Posted by: rose | February 26, 2012 at 09:36 PM