I just haven't been blogging today, despite my having ample opportunity. I don't know. Something's off.
I had coffee with Ep and some intense conversation which I won't go into here. Suffice it to say that I am reaching some decisions and will soon start to act, which is not the place I've been up to this point. I've been limp and reluctant. But now I want to set everything in order and get moving, so to speak.
I had a Doc Alphabet appointment where he listened to all my anxieties and told me in so many words that he thought worrying about them was a waste of time. Sometimes I wonder if i need a more sympathetic ear. I go in there all tense, knowing that I'll be in the wrong somehow, and sure enough, I am.
He was talking about why I'm so insecure, though, and it totally made sense. I have a squishy identity all on my own, and look to other people to tell me who I am. I need to have a stronger personality, just me for me. "You will get this in the outside world, as you step out," he said.
Hell I will, I thought to myself. I"m staying in my cave.
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