Back in the Fold

A long service at the UU church, a place I haven't been in a dog's age, simply because, well, it hasn't happened. I did try to go one time when I was really in the depths of bipolar, and it was disorienting and horrible. Not that the service was bad, on the contrary; it was me, processing information, wanting to be alone, in a place that was overstimulating.

Hard to imagine being in that headspace now. I'm almost "myself" again, whatever that means. Or something.

Did a lot of work on the bp diary (A History of My Brain, and Other Various Topics) and then I realized it is, for some reason, wrong. Fuck! What did I do? It's upside down for half the entries, and the other half proceeds in the direction it should. Damn it.

Tomorrow I lunch with Jules the Minister and it sounds great. Her service today was on the subject of Sawain, the fall pagan thing, mixed in with Day of the Dead and etc. Everyone went to the altar and placed papers or candles in honor of the year's dead. I wrote my mother's full name on a piece of paper and immediately started to cry. It's so fresh, still. Scratch the surface and I'm sad again. It's like a humming copper wire through my chest.

Comments

[selena]

Another chance to honor your mother--a good thing, though sad. It was good for the rest of the family, too, if they were there.

[Denise]

OK this is odd, we also went to UU today - first time in quite awhile and it was of course Day of the Dead. During our service, members of the fellowship were encouraged to say the name of someone they had lost and later we were to wrote someone's name on a piece of ribbon and tie it to this scaffolding thing outside - so all of these multi colored ribbons were flying in the breeze. It was nice. But during the service, I wondered for a moment if you were at your UU and if there was a similar service being held. Odd and that UU connectivity thing at work, maybe.

[Jo]

Wow, Denise, that's really kind of cool. Yeah, it was dumb luck that took me to that particular service, too. WEll actually no, it was the fact that Squid's daughter was going to read the welcome at the beginning of the service. Still. It was a coincidence to have that subject matter.