I'm better this morning! Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm still sort of shakey, but I'm hoping to do Family and Friend things and get myself further from my funk.
Predictably enough, Manny came home and I exploded into histrionics. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" I said. Every once in a while the girls would wander by and not really notice that their mother was freaking out. We sent them off to watch TV and talked. I think it was a combination of things, all conspiring to make me feel horrible. I hadn't eaten very well all day, or enough, and I was seriously in need of blood sugar of a protein nature. I was coming off of Manny gone all week, which I thought I was handling without a problem until I realized I was telling myself this little narrative about how much he would rather be at work than home, and I sucked, and this was my lot in life, to hang out in a boring house without him boo hoo hoo hoo
So anyway, he is going to look into what days he could take off, here and there. And now he knows how I feel, anyway. As for bouncing the rent check, well, fuck. He even asked if I wanted him to take over some of the banking. "How?" I said. I don't know how he could. If I were an intensely organized person it would help, but I'm this writer flake creative person whose usefulness in the actual world doesn't extend very far.
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